Dear Cheryl: I went online to find a friend with benefits. I didn't want to get serious at this stage in my life. I got responses from a lot of freakos, then I actually found one man I wanted to meet. The sparks flew! We had a few very nice evenings, and then we actually became great friends!
He's turned out to be the best friend I've had in a long time. We see each other three or four times a week. I know where he works, where he lives -- pretty much all there is to know about him.
The problem is, now that we're friends, the sparks are gone -- on his part. I'm at a loss as to what's going on. I don't think he's sleeping with other people because he works a lot, and when he's not he calls me. -- Baffled
Dear Baffled: Maybe the reason he was online looking for a friend with benefits rather than a real relationship is because he knows he's fickle and enjoys newness more than intimacy.
Maybe he isn't comfortable having sex with someone he actually likes.
Maybe combining sex and friendship is too much like a relationship in all that it entails, and he doesn't want one.
Maybe he's just not that into you anymore.
It doesn't really matter why the sexual part of your relationship is over. Just accept it. If you can, you've got a great friend.
Dear Cheryl: I'm 6 feet 1 inch tall and completely in love with a man who is 5 feet 5 inches tall. I used to think that I had to be with a man who was my height or taller, but as I got older I became more comfortable with my height. Then along came Ken. He swept me right off my size 11 feet. I would have missed out big time if I hadn't given him a chance.
People like to stare at us, especially if I'm in high heels, but I know how much of a man he is, and together we make a gorgeous couple. -- Who Says We're Lopsided?
Dear WSWL?: Not me. If people chucked their preconceived notions about who they should date, they'd broaden their experiences, increase their options and have a much better chance finding Mr. or Ms. Right.
-- Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."